Have you ever been bullied as a child or an adult? Were there any useful life lessons you learned about people – and yourself? Here is a story from my own childhood – and I would love to hear about your experiences.

During the years I was 6 until 10, I was shunned and teased at school by a group of girls led by a child I’ll call “May.”

Did they choose me because I was so shy? Or awkward? Or looked different Who knows? Maybe it was just bad luck.

In those days, there was rarely any adult supervision during recess or lunchtime, and I didn’t have words to tell my teachers or parents what was happening. Anyway, asking for help never even crossed my mind. The expectation in those days was that we kids were supposed to figure out things like this for ourselves.

So, recess after recess, day after day, year after year, I sat reading by the closed door of our classroom, escaping from isolation into the absorbing company of books.

Finally, when we were in 5th grade, May and her cohorts cornered me in the bathroom and started to push and hit me. To all our surprise, I kicked May hard in the shins – and these girls ran running to tell our teacher.

To this day, well over 60 years later, I am so grateful to our teacher Mrs. Westcott who had been observing what was happening and believed me instead of the other girls. “First of all,” she said kindly, “GOOD for YOU!” And then she added firmly, “But don’t EVER do it again!”

After that, May and I somehow became “sort of” friends. Even so, as an adult, I had always thought of her as the bane of my childhood until she recognized me on a Kidpower video several years ago.

My perspective abruptly shifted when I saw this message from May in our inbox: “Irene, my mother recently died and, as I was looking through her old photos of my childhood, I found some photos she took with both of us in a ballet class. Suddenly, so many memories started coming to me, unbidden, unwanted… Would you like the photos? Oh, and congratulations on Kidpower and all you’ve done with it.”

We exchanged a few messages and, when May told me she was facing an operation for breast cancer, of course I wished her well.

So, what did I learn?

First, that stories have power. All the characters and their exciting adventures in the books I read at recess gave me friendship, courage, and an antidote to the loneliness and shame I was facing during those years of taunting and having nobody to play with at school. I became a collector and teller of stories for fun, for healing, and for learning how to make the most of our lives.

Next, that there is no one to blame for what happened. We were all young kids struggling on our own without many skills and with almost no adult leadership. Our adults didn’t know about the lasting harm that results from the toxic stress and trauma often caused by bullying. They didn’t know what they could do to change misery into opportunities for kids – and adults – to learn and grow.

Also, that adults have enormous power. Like my 5th grade teacher Mrs. Westcott, even one adult at one important moment can help a child believe in their own worth and strength. My wise teacher did NOT blame me for what happened, and she did NOT treat me like a victim. She said, “GOOD for you” – NOT “you BAD girl” or “POOR you.”

And then, Mrs. Westcott told May and her friends, “Picking on kids like that is wrong!” while also warning me, “Don’t ever do it again!” If she had had tools like Kidpower, I believe our teacher would have also had her students practice skills like how to speak up, protect your feelings, respect boundaries, and get help. (And, yes, “Mrs. Westcott” IS her real name!)

And, finally, that our lives and our world can change for the better. I believe that, despite all the unkind disrespectful cruel behavior we see in most societies, more and more people everywhere agree that bullying, harassment, and violence are against their values. They understand that everyone benefits when children – and adults – act safely and respectfully towards themselves and others.

As Offra Gerstein, clinical psychologist and Relationship Matters author, wrote, “If you don’t matter, you shatter!” Each time we reach out in a wise and kind way to a lonely child – or an adult who is struggling – and let them know we care – what we do MATTERS, even if it doesn’t seem that way at the time.

Here are five of our extensive educational resources, which countless people around the world are using for their families, schools, organizations, and communities:

• The Kidpower Motto Poster to download and post or discuss
• Child Protection and Safety Posters for kids, teens, and adults
• Adult Bullying: 5 Strategies to Protect Yourself and Others
• Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe – a book full of stories and practical guides on how to discuss problems, find solutions, and practice skills
• How to Teach Skills to Face Bullying With Confidence – an online video guide and presentation tools in English and Spanish

If you email us your own story about your useful life lessons from bullying, we will send you two 100 percent discount codes so you can access both the digital book and online course for free. Of course, we will ask for permission before sharing your personal story publicly.

Finally, please let us know if there is any way our services can be of help to you.

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Published: October 27, 2025   |   Last Updated: October 27, 2025