Rude comments or political arguments causing headaches at your holiday gatherings?
Dreading the long monologues from that one family member who tends to drone on and on?
Instead of suffering through these unpleasant conversations, here are some skills you can use to change their course!
Just last week, a friend and I used our Positive Communication skills to redirect a party guest who started yelling insults about specific politicians in a group of people with mixed political views.
Before his venting could spark an argument, our host came over and interrupted, saying gently but firmly, “Please don’t talk about politics. Not everyone here feels the same way you do.”
I then changed the subject, asking the guest to tell me more about his job. We ended up having an interesting, enjoyable conversation!
You, too, can prepare yourself to Interrupt, Set a Boundary, and Change the Subject like we did – so you can have fewer arguments and more enjoyable conversations!
Another time, a reporter interviewing me said, “My teens don’t want to join our family dinners anymore. They hate the comments from well-meaning relatives about what they eat or don’t eat, what they wear, and whether or not they are studying hard enough.”
“Who wouldn’t hate that!” I said. “You can prepare your teens with skills so they can enjoy the dinner without feeling stuck listening to comments they really dislike. Together, you can practice how to take charge of a rude conversation instead of feeling victimized by it.”
The reporter said, “I need to know how to do that, too! I’m sick of hearing family stories about dumb things I did as a teenager!”
So, we paused the interview and practiced together on the phone:
I pretended to be an annoying family member and lectured, “Blah,blah! You should really, blah blah blah. And you look so … blah blah blah… remember when…blah blah blah!”
I coached the reporter to interrupt me mid-sentence by saying in a firm, kind voice, “Excuse me, Irene!”
I pretended to ignore her interruption and coached her to repeat it louder while still sounding respectful, “EXCUSE ME, Irene!”
I then pretended to grump, “Just let me finish my thought!… blah blah.”
I coached her to interrupt again and say, “I understand, AND I don’t want to talk about this. I’d rather hear about your vacation.”
The reporter told me later that her kids loved getting permission to interrupt an adult in a respectful way. They had a great time thinking up and practicing different scenarios together!
By redirecting unpleasant conversations, you can help them move away from misery and toward joy and connection.
HOW we interrupt and set boundaries is just as important as the words we use, and the tips in our Assertive Advocacy Communication Skills article can help you prepare to project calm, respectful confidence!
For more strategies you and your family can use to have fewer problems and more fun this holiday season, see:
Holiday Power Strategies: Take charge of emotional safety during the holidays
No Forced Kisses for Kids: A holiday safety tip for safer, more joyful gatherings
These are just three of the 400+ articles and other resources available to you free in our online library. Please let us know if you want more about a specific topic or problem – we will help!
To help us continue to make our library resources free of charge, please consider making a year-end donation if you haven’t already. As a “holiday special”, all gifts will be matched by our Leadership Circle through December 31st.
Published: December 10, 2025 | Last Updated: December 10, 2025