Too many children have adults in their lives who might be thoughtlessly or intentionally treating them in destructive ways. Other adults might be incapable of giving children support or care they urgently need, resulting in neglect.
Acknowledging this reality in a way that is emotionally safe helps protect kids from potential abuse and neglect. It is important that what we say be truthful, useful, and not overwhelming, which means avoiding distressing details. Because many children love the person who is harming them, or believe that what happened is their fault, it is important to focus on getting help instead of blaming anyone.
What Kids Need to Know
As soon as they can understand, give children the following message in a calm, matter of fact manner, without any upsetting details. Sound warm rather than worried.
“Sometimes, the adults in kids’ lives have problems.
Sometimes, their problems are so big that they might do things that hurt kids or make them feel bad.
Sometimes, their problems make it hard for adults to take care of kids who need their help.
If this happens to you or someone you know, it is NOT your fault.
It does not mean that anybody is a bad person.
It DOES mean that everybody needs help.
Your Safety Plan is to tell me or another adult you trust- and to keep telling until someone does something to fix this safety problem.
And remember – it is NEVER too late to tell.”
The practice below is a way to help kids remember what they need to know and do. Coach children to repeat what you tell them to say. Model being upbeat rather than upset.
“Let’s all say out loud, ‘It is NEVER too late to tell!…’ Now let’s say out loud, ‘I will keep asking until I get help.’ .. Excellent! Now imagine you are going to me or another adult you trust, and I am very busy. Let’s imagine interrupting this busy adult. Everyone say, ‘Excuse me! I need help!’.. Wonderful!… And your job is to keep asking this person or another person until you get help.”
“Even if you have to ask one HUNDRED people, I want you to promise me you will keep asking until you get help! .. Do you promise? … (Coach children to nod their heads and say) .. ‘YES’!”
Then, encourage children to think of many different adults they could go to with safety problems, such as their parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, school counselors, neighbors, etc.
If children ask for details about what might happen when an adult has these kinds of problems, ask what they think rather than answering their question. Their response will give you the opportunity to address any confusion or upset they might already have.
If they press for details, you can redirect them by saying firmly and cheerfully, “Lots of things might happen, but I’d rather talk about how you can keep yourself safe. Let’s practice sounding both firm and respectful when you ask someone to stop. Let’s practice interrupting a busy adult and telling the whole story when you need help.”
THEN, make SURE that young people and adults in your life KNOW you CARE!
Make this Safetypowers Protection Promise with all the children and teens in your care – and all the important adults in your life.
“YOU are very important to me – and If you have a safety problem, I want to know …
Even if I seem too busy,
Even if someone might get upset,
Even if you promised not to tell,
Even if it is embarrassing,
Even if you made a mistake and did something wrong.
Please tell me – and I will do everything in my power to help you.”
And then, to help them remember, lead them in this practice in a calm, matter-of-fact, upbeat way. “Everyone, imagine you have a safety problem. Reach your hands out to me like this and say, ‘Excuse me. I need help!’ …. Good. And if you do that, I will reach back to you and say, ‘I will help you!'”
“Suppose I am too busy and don’t hear or understand you at first. You can use your power of PERSISTENCE, which means not giving up. Everybody, reach out again and say, ‘Excuse me … Please look at me. … I need help … This is about safety!’ GREAT. …. And if you do that, I will say. ‘Thank you for telling me. I will help you.'”
What We Adults Need to Know
Most of the people who abuse children are people they know well. However, children will NOT be made safer by being given this potentially devastating message: “By the way, the person who will probably hurt you the most is someone you trust and love.”
In Kidpower, our goal is to give children tools for staying emotionally and physically safe without overwhelming them with unnecessary upsetting information. Children and teens can learn to protect themselves from most safety problems with people they know if they practice these skills:
-
- Setting powerful, respectful, appropriate boundaries with peers and adults
- Protecting themselves emotionally from hurtful words
- Staying in charge of what they say and do no matter how they feel inside
- Walking away from trouble
- Being persistent in getting help
Instead of mentioning specific abusive or other dangerous situations, we have children practice using these methods to solve common daily problems such as unkind comments, unwanted touch, hurtful teasing, disagreements, games that go from fun to scary, leaving someone out, and social pressure to make unsafe or inappropriate choices.
Because young people are constantly changing as they grow and because even adults need reminders, we recommend you repeat these safety messages and have kids practice these skills at least once a year.
Additional Resources for Practicing Skills and Protecting Kids:
- What to Do If A Child Reports Possible Abuse, Bullying, Harassment, or Anything Else That Bothers Them – a free article from our Online Resource Library
- Kidpower Children Safety Comics, Youth Safety Comics, Fullpower Safety Comics for Teens and Adults, and Girlpower: Be Confident – cartoon-illustrated books with social stories and skills.
- Child Protection Advocate Workbook Series – 6 workbooks
- Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety At All Levels – our Amazon best-seller
- Training of Practitioners online course for learning to teach Kidpower skills -includes live online coaching sessions, workbooks, training videos, and ongoing support
- Full Circle Safety Sexual Abuse Prevention Course for K-12 Educators
Too many children have adults in their lives who might be thoughtlessly or intentionally treating them in destructive ways. Other adults might be incapable of giving children support or care they urgently need, resulting in neglect.
Acknowledging this reality in a way that is emotionally safe helps protect kids from potential abuse and neglect. It is important that what we say be truthful, useful, and not overwhelming, which means avoiding distressing details. Because many children love the person who is harming them, or believe that what happened is their fault, it is important to focus on getting help instead of blaming anyone.
What Kids Need to Know
As soon as they can understand, give children the following message in a calm, matter of fact manner, without any upsetting details. Sound warm rather than worried.
“Sometimes, the adults in kids’ lives have problems.
Sometimes, their problems are so big that they might do things that hurt kids or make them feel bad.
Sometimes, their problems make it hard for adults to take care of kids who need their help.
If this happens to you or someone you know, it is NOT your fault.
It does not mean that anybody is a bad person.
It DOES mean that everybody needs help.
Your Safety Plan is to tell me or another adult you trust- and to keep telling until someone does something to fix this safety problem.
And remember – it is NEVER too late to tell.”
The practice below is a way to help kids remember what they need to know and do. Coach children to repeat what you tell them to say. Model being upbeat rather than upset.
“Let’s all say out loud, ‘It is NEVER too late to tell!…’ Now let’s say out loud, ‘I will keep asking until I get help.’ .. Excellent! Now imagine you are going to me or another adult you trust, and I am very busy. Let’s imagine interrupting this busy adult. Everyone say, ‘Excuse me! I need help!’.. Wonderful!… And your job is to keep asking this person or another person until you get help.”
“Even if you have to ask one HUNDRED people, I want you to promise me you will keep asking until you get help! .. Do you promise? … (Coach children to nod their heads and say) .. ‘YES’!”
Then, encourage children to think of many different adults they could go to with safety problems, such as their parents, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, family friends, school counselors, neighbors, etc.
If children ask for details about what might happen when an adult has these kinds of problems, ask what they think rather than answering their question. Their response will give you the opportunity to address any confusion or upset they might already have.
If they press for details, you can redirect them by saying firmly and cheerfully, “Lots of things might happen, but I’d rather talk about how you can keep yourself safe. Let’s practice sounding both firm and respectful when you ask someone to stop. Let’s practice interrupting a busy adult and telling the whole story when you need help.”
THEN, make SURE that young people and adults in your life KNOW you CARE!
Make this Safetypowers Protection Promise with all the children and teens in your care – and all the important adults in your life.
“YOU are very important to me – and If you have a safety problem, I want to know …
Even if I seem too busy,
Even if someone might get upset,
Even if you promised not to tell,
Even if it is embarrassing,
Even if you made a mistake and did something wrong.
Please tell me – and I will do everything in my power to help you.”
And then, to help them remember, lead them in this practice in a calm, matter-of-fact, upbeat way. “Everyone, imagine you have a safety problem. Reach your hands out to me like this and say, ‘Excuse me. I need help!’ …. Good. And if you do that, I will reach back to you and say, ‘I will help you!'”
“Suppose I am too busy and don’t hear or understand you at first. You can use your power of PERSISTENCE, which means not giving up. Everybody, reach out again and say, ‘Excuse me … Please look at me. … I need help … This is about safety!’ GREAT. …. And if you do that, I will say. ‘Thank you for telling me. I will help you.'”
What We Adults Need to Know
Most of the people who abuse children are people they know well. However, children will NOT be made safer by being given this potentially devastating message: “By the way, the person who will probably hurt you the most is someone you trust and love.”
In Kidpower, our goal is to give children tools for staying emotionally and physically safe without overwhelming them with unnecessary upsetting information. Children and teens can learn to protect themselves from most safety problems with people they know if they practice these skills:
-
- Setting powerful, respectful, appropriate boundaries with peers and adults
- Protecting themselves emotionally from hurtful words
- Staying in charge of what they say and do no matter how they feel inside
- Walking away from trouble
- Being persistent in getting help
Instead of mentioning specific abusive or other dangerous situations, we have children practice using these methods to solve common daily problems such as unkind comments, unwanted touch, hurtful teasing, disagreements, games that go from fun to scary, leaving someone out, and social pressure to make unsafe or inappropriate choices.
Because young people are constantly changing as they grow and because even adults need reminders, we recommend you repeat these safety messages and have kids practice these skills at least once a year.
Additional Resources for Practicing Skills and Protecting Kids:
- What to Do If A Child Reports Possible Abuse, Bullying, Harassment, or Anything Else That Bothers Them – a free article from our Online Resource Library
- Kidpower Children Safety Comics, Youth Safety Comics, Fullpower Safety Comics for Teens and Adults, and Girlpower: Be Confident – cartoon-illustrated books with social stories and skills.
- Child Protection Advocate Workbook Series – 6 workbooks
- Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety At All Levels – our Amazon best-seller
- Training of Practitioners online course for learning to teach Kidpower skills -includes live online coaching sessions, workbooks, training videos, and ongoing support
- Full Circle Safety Sexual Abuse Prevention Course for K-12 Educators
Published: April 14, 2026 | Last Updated: April 14, 2026
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.