Have your negative assumptions about what other people are saying, doing or thinking ever led to upsetting arguments? Maryse Postlewaite is the creator and trainer of our Conflict Resolution Fundamentals Course, which has many tools you can use right away in your work and personal life. Below is a nugget from Maryse’s wisdom for addressing the causes of unnecessary conflict.
Have you ever “played out” conversations that never happened?
The songbirds in this picture are warbling, changing their tune when a crow visits them. Are they feeling threatened, signaling to others their apprehensions or standing their ground with their affirmative call? While observing the feathered activity which is so foreign to me, I realize that I’m fabricating a story in my mind.
I catch myself doing this frequently…not so much with birds… with friends, family, even strangers. I imagine conversations. Are they thinking about me? The next time I see this person, what will I say? If I act a certain way, will they approve or disapprove?
To what end is this mental chattering? Is it in harmony with being present with others? How is this an obstacle to authenticity and avoiding judgements? Am I giving others the benefit of the doubt? Am I giving myself compassionate messages. With greater awareness, as these imagined conversations creep in, I’ve been directing them elsewhere. Why? Because I really have no idea what is going on for others. I listen attentively, invite questions, and authentically dialogue by not making assumptions or guessing what others are thinking.
Here’s a thought…be aware of your imagined conversations and how setting them aside promotes your authenticity. Share this with others in your life. Maryse Postlewaite, Conflict Resolution Trainer
Special Offer. You will get a 40% discount to Maryse’s Conflict Resolution Fundamentals Course in the Kidpower Online Learning Center with the code INDIV40 when registration is complete by July 22.
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Published: June 12, 2025 | Last Updated: June 12, 2025
Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: cartoon-illustrated Kidpower Safety Comics and Kidpower Teaching Books curriculum; Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe; the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults; Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers; The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, and the Amazon Best Seller Doing Right by Our Kids: Protecting Child Safety at All Levels.