I can really relate to the worries that Leadership Trainer Claire Laughlin shares in her message below and deeply appreciate the wisdom in her new podcast about how to handle what she calls “covert conflicts” in the workplace — and everywhere else.
Here’s what Claire has to say…
If a colleague left you off important email threads and meeting invites you should clearly be on, how would you handle it?
Would you ask yourself, “Why is this happening?
“Am I being ghosted?
“Or skipped over?
“Is someone mad at me?
“Did I do something wrong?
“Am I being moved to a different project?”
Would you ask yourself, “Why is this happening?”
Or, would you go and talk to someone else… maybe Sarah in accounting, or Jake in the shipping department.
Would you joke around with others about being overlooked? (While secretly hoping someone would intervene and stop the madness?)
Most of us have seen (or been involved with) some version of this convoluted scenario.
This is what I’d call covert conflict — the kind that is a little sneaky and flies under the radar. And it’s often harder to deal with than a straight-up disagreement, because there’s little to nothing obvious to point at.
Just a feeling that something’s off.
I brought two real, listener-submitted situations to Maryse Postlewaite — who has spent more than forty-five years helping people handle conflict with heart — and asked her to walk through them with us.
Not all conflict is loud. Some of it is a colleague who quietly stops including you, or a decision you can see going wrong but can’t seem to influence. This week is about that harder-to-name conflict — the kind we tend to carry around instead of address.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
WHEN A PEER LEAVES YOU OFF THE EMAILS
What to do when someone quietly stops including you — and why the instinct to mention it sideways to other coworkers usually makes things worse.
ASSUMING THE BEST BEFORE YOU ASSUME THE WORST
Maryse’s practice of ruling out a simple misunderstanding first, and Claire’s “Most Generous Interpretation” (a phrase she credits to Dr. Becky Kennedy).
VENTING VS. SOLVING
Why a trusted friend can help you either prepare for a conversation or realize you don’t need to have one — and how that differs from gossiping at the water cooler.
A GENTLE WAY IN: BRIDGE, “I” STATEMENT, REQUEST
Maryse’s pattern for opening a hard conversation — a genuine compliment, an honest feeling, and a clear request — plus why “maybe” and “perhaps” leave room for the other person.
WHEN IT’S YOUR BOSS
What changes when there’s a power imbalance: checking your organization’s protocols, approaching outside the heat of the moment, and asking questions that invite the other person in.
To go deeper, listen to the full episode, Ask the Conflict Expert with Maryse, Postlewaite, now on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
Back to Irene…
Both Claire and Maryse are long-time colleagues, dear friends, and dedicated Kidpower Board Members.
They are each amazing experts in their fields who skills, wisdom, and commitment have contributed greatly to the heart, integrity, and impact of our organization.
I know you will enjoy listening to these two remarkable women on Claire’s podcast.
If you want to learn how to use and teach conflict resolution skills, I encourage you to check out Maryse’s on-line Conflict Resolution Fundamentals Course in our Safetypowers Learning Center. This excellent program includes five live trainer-led sessions, teaching videos, role-plays, and instructions for over 30 interactive, fun, engaging activities, as well as extensive email support.
Published: August 5, 2026 | Last Updated: August 5, 2026