7 Kidpower Strategies for Keeping Our Children Safe

Written by Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director

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1. Put Safety First.  Kidpower’s core principle is, “The safety and well being of a child are more important than anyone’s embarrassment, inconvenience, or offense.” Child protection requires making safety a higher priority than uncomfortable feelings or worry about negative reactions.

2. Keep your radar on. Stay in charge of what is happening with your kids. Insist on all caregivers and professionals providing powerful, respectful adult leadership. Remember that people who are a danger to kids usually look and act very nice. Don’t let your kids be in places where you are not welcome. Drop in unexpectedly. Pay attention to your intuition. If you feel uncomfortable or your gut makes you worry that something might be wrong, insist on answers.  Notice if someone seems to be singling your child out for special gifts, favors, or time alone.

3. LISTEN to your children and teach them not to keep unsafe secrets. Problems, touch, gifts, favors, and activities should NOT be a secret.  Ask occasionally in an interested, calm way, “Is there anything you’ve been wondering or worrying about that you haven’t told me?” Stay calm and caring when kids talk with you about problems so that they feel safe coming to you.

4.  Make SURE Kids know you CARE. Don’t assume that a child knows. No matter how busy you are, or how much kids say they already know, discuss the Kidpower Protection Promise with each of the young people in your care: ”YOU are VERY important to me. If you have a safety problem, I want to know – even if I seem too busy, might get upset, or don’t understand at first – even if someone we care about will be upset- even if you promised not to tell, feel embarrassed, or made a mistake. Please tell me, and I will do everything in my power to help you!”

5. Don’t let kids throw stones. Intervene immediately so that you stop a child being unkind to another with the same determination that you would stop that child from throwing a rock through a window. Every adult in charge of children is responsible for ensuring that each child stays emotionally and physically safe and that this child acts safely and respectfully towards others.  Model being firm, kind, and persistent when you intervene.

6. Assess each child and make Safety Plans.  Assess realistically the capabilities and vulnerabilities of your child. Make a list of everywhere your child goes, what kinds of problems they might encounter, and how she would avoid the problem and get help if necessary. Before you let your child go anywhere without adult protection, make sure that your child is prepared with sufficient knowledge, skills, and life experience.

7.  Prepare children to take charge of their safety by practicing skills. One quick action can stop most bullying, abuse, and other emotional or physical violence  – staying aware, checking and thinking first, moving away from trouble, acting confident, pushing someone’s hand away, de-escalating conflict, ordering someone to stop, leaving as soon as you can, resisting emotional coercion, setting boundaries, and being persistent in telling until you get help. Kids are more likely to be able to take actions like these when they need to if they understand their safety rules and have had the chance to rehearse using these skills in a fun, age-appropriate way.

Watch interviews discussing these 7 Kidpower Strategies for Keeping Our Kids Safe video series.

Not sure HOW to teach skills? Our Safety Comics series for younger children, older children and teens/adults provide entertaining and useful tools for introducing and practicing “People Safety” rules and skills.  Since 1989, Kidpower International has protected over 4 million children, teens, and adults, including those with special needs, from bullying, violence, and abuse through empowering people with knowledge and skills. For information about workshops, our extensive free online Library, consulting, and books, visit www.kidpower.org.

Additional Resources

Touch in Healthy Relationships

Preparing Children for More Independence – A Five-Step Plan From Kidpower

Bullying in Schools – 7 Solutions for Parents

Face Bullying With Confidence – 8 Kidpower Skills We Can Use Right Away

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About the Author

Irene van der Zande, Kidpower Founder and Executive Director
Kidpower Founder and Executive Irene van der Zande is a master at teaching safety through stories and practices and at inspiring others to do the same. Her child protection and personal safety expertise has been featured by USA Today, CNN, Today Moms, the LA Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Publications include: Bullying: What Adults Need to Know and Do to Keep Kids Safe, the Kidpower Safety Comics series, the Relationship Safety Skills Handbook for Teens and Adults, and The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People.
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