“Someone, Call 9-1-1!” – A Personal Story

In memory of Stephen Pollard, 1937-2012

Last Saturday, my husband Ed and I stopped in a quiet neighborhood street near our home on our way to the Farmer’s Market. There were three garage sales in the same block, and lots of folks hunting for bargains.

Suddenly, we heard voices shouting, “Call 9-1-1!” I immediately started punching the numbers into my cell phone and looked around to see what the problem was.

An older man was crumpled in the street, his bike lying beside him on the pavement, a big gash on the side of his forehead under his bike helmet. Two women were kneeling down, stemming the flow of blood, holding him on his side so he could breathe. The man moaned a little and coughed.

I walked over, wishing I had already taken that first aid class I’ve been meaning to schedule, as my training is rusty. Thankfully, the women seemed to know what they were doing. “I’m calling right now,” I said. “Do you need help?”

“We are both registered nurses,” one of the women said, to my immense relief. “He hit a pothole and went right over his handbars.”

It seemed to take forever for the emergency operator to answer but it was probably just a few seconds. “We need an ambulance immediately,” I said, as soon as I heard a voice on the line.

“Where are you?” asked the emergency operator. Ed, knowing my sense of direction is poor, stood by to supply the answer. He then went to help stop traffic.

“What happened?” the operator asked.

“A man fell off a bike and hit his head. He’s lost a lot of blood. We need help right NOW!” I said urgently.

“They are on the way, ” the operator reassured me.

I passed this on to the two women, and they told the man,”Help is on the way.”

The women’s hands were full, so I stood with my cell phone, answering questions and passing information back and forth about the man’s condition: “… barely breathing … barely conscious … in bad shape….”

When a medical technician came on the line, one of the women reached out with her hand, and I gave her my cell phone so they could speak directly.

I then looked around to see how else I might help. Ed and a few other people were stopping cars.

A group of children at the garage sale across the street were trying to see what was going on. I walked over and said to the stunned adults with them, who were also watching. “This is not a good place for kids right now.”

“You’re right!” they said. “Thank you!”

The kids hesitated, and I explained, “A man got hurt. Help is on the way. Right now, it’s better if you stay over there.” I pointed to the toys and games piled up for the garage sale, away from the accident scene. The children moved reluctantly to the toys.

“I think I know him,” one of the women said, shocked. “Not well, but I’ve seen him riding his bike around.”

First a police officer, then a fire truck, and then an ambulance arrived. Each person was doing their best to save this man.  The street was blocked, but families were still walking by on the sidewalk on their way to the garage sales.

The nurse who had taken my cell phone brought it back and thanked me. I wish I had thanked her as well.

Since this was the only thing left for me to do, I kept stopping families with kids, explaining,”This is not a good place for kids right now.” I knew that their children would have questions and might be sad – but there is a difference between knowing someone got hurt and actually seeing up close rescue workers struggling to save someone’s life.

One man looked at me blandly for a second and then moved his kids away. He came back and hugged me. “Thank you!” he said. “I didn’t understand.”

A very kind police officer asked each bystander what we knew about what had happened. “Is he going to be okay?” I asked.

“It doesn’t look so good,” he said gently. Ed took my hand. Like the others, we waited out of concern, and then, when it was clear there really was nothing else we could do, went on to the Farmer’s Market.

Later, we learned that the man had died, and that he was Stephen Pollard, a 75-year-old Santa Cruz “original” known to many local people.

Intellectually, we know that we are going to die – and that, no matter how careful we are, bad things can happen out of the blue. But for me, it is shocking when it happens so close to home, with someone I know or right in front of me.

One minute, Stephen was peacefully riding his bike in the sunshine on a level street with very little traffic, visiting garage sales as he often did on a Saturday morning. Within a few seconds, he was mortally hurt.

I felt glad that I was able to be a “someone” who called 9-1-1 — and sad that it wasn’t enough.

This experience is a poignant reminder that life is fragile, and we never know when we are going to die. Just in case, let’s all tell the people we love that we love them, often, even if we are annoyed with them. Let’s tell the people who are important to us exactly how they make a difference for us. Let’s make sure that people in our lives know we care.

And let this remind us that everyone is safer if we are prepared to prevent problems when possible and to take charge in an emergency.  To be prepared, we need to make the time for ourselves and our children to gain and renew our knowledge and skills. This is what I teach in the areas of personal safety and violence prevention, but I had gotten behind in doing this with first aid. My First Aid, CPR, AED Pediatric-Adult workshop is now scheduled, since I would have worried forever about not having done the right things if those nurses hadn’t been there.

Finally, whether we know a little or we know a lot, let’s all be mentally prepared to step in when we see trouble. Sad as the outcome was, it was beautiful how a group of strangers gathered together immediately to do what we could to help someone we didn’t know, that we suddenly became a community who all wanted him to live.

—- Irene van der Zande is the Executive Director and Founder of Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International and author of the just-released Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, which has a foreword by Gavin de Becker, best-selling author of The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift.

 

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Mother’s Day Gift: Peace of Mind and Safety

Mothers of all ages want safe, happy kids. Safety and peace of mind are more beautiful and lasting than any flower.

Honor a mother in your life by giving The Kidpower Book this Mother’s Day, and your gift will plant seeds of child safety that will bloom in her honor for years to come.

If you let us know about your gift before Friday, May 12, we’ll e-mail a personal message of appreciation to the mother of your choice.

You can give the book to a mother or, in a mother’s name, to a teacher, youth leader, health provider, counselor, or police officer who works with young people.

Your gift will bring peace of mind to mothers and others who will receive more tools to protect kids from bullying, violence, and abuse.

Your gift will also further Kidpower’s One Million Safer Kids campaign by putting Kidpower’s 23+ years of expertise into the hands of adults committed to keeping kids safe.

Buy The Kidpower Book through Amazon or Create Space. Then, e-mail us at safety@kidpower.org with the name and e-mail address of the person you wish to honor along with any special message you’d like us to include.

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TSA Screening – Kidpower recommendations to ensure transportation safety while avoiding trauma

It is important to make security interesting instead of scary for kids

The April 25th Huffington Post article, TSA Defends Pat-Down of Crying 4-year Old Girl at Kansas Airport, describes how a little girl who had already been screened broke TSA protocols by running to hug her grandmother who was awaiting close by for a pat-down after tripping the alarm. The reports of the incident by both the girl’s mother and grandmother describe how the TSA officials yelled at the girl, terrifying her,  threatened her when she tried to run away, and then forced her to have a pat-down as she sobbed in her mother’s arms.

This way of handling problems is outrageous.  I completely relate to the fury felt by this mother and grandmother! As one father told me, “If this had happened to my child, our family would NOT have been flying that day – and heads would have rolled!”

The good news is that simple preparations by parents along with better training and procedures by the TSA can make airport screening become an interesting experience for children instead of an upsetting one — without sacrificing transportation security or a child’s emotional safety.

Kidpower, a nonprofit leader in violence prevention and personal safety education for children and adults since 1989, has the following recommendations for parents and caregivers flying with children and for the TSA on how to prevent trauma for children while maintaining security.

Here are five Kidpower recommendations for parents and other caregivers flying with children:

1. Know the rules. The rules keep changing so inform yourself before you fly.   When you know the rules and guidelines, you can speak from a place of knowledge if an issue arises. Check the TSA website on Flying With Kids.

2. Prepare children in a fun, reassuring way. Explain what happens when you go to an airport and fly on an airplane.  Teach Stranger Safety instead of Stranger Danger. Explain that the TSA officials are there to help everyone be safe, even though they are strangers and that it is okay to do what they say because you know about it and will be staying together. Make up a story about a child’s favorite character getting screened at the airport. Play a game where a child can pretend to pat down a stuffed animal or doll while you hold its hand or paw.

3. Reassure your child at the airport.  Explain what is happening as you are in the security line. Remind your child about what to do. For example, “See, that lady is getting to have someone checking her body with a wand. Isn’t that interesting? Remember, once we go through that little gate, we have to stand where the people in uniforms tell us to stand and not leave until they say it’s okay. We’ll stay together the whole time.”

4. Act calm and upbeat with your child no matter how you feel inside. Children are most likely to get upset if you seem upset. If your child gets anxious, be reassuring that, even if something unexpected happens, no one did anything wrong and everything is okay. If you are late, try to put the stress aside and remember to allow yourself more time next trip. Even if someone is rude,  decide to deal with this later. At the moment, in front of your child, act cheerful and upbeat.

5. Advocate for your child with respect, persistence, and confidence. If you think someone is doing something in a way that seems inappropriate or unsafe for your child, speak up in a respectful, powerful way. For example, “I understand that you are busy, but the way you are handling this is not consistent with the rules I saw on the TSA website. Please get a supervisor.”  Or, “I understand that we made a mistake, but it was an accident. It will help my child cooperate if you act friendly and positive rather than sounding impatient and suspicious.”

Here are five Kidpower recommendations for the TSA:

1. Make sure everyone understands the rules. Have the rules for passengers going through security, including children, clearly posted just as the rules are about what you cannot have in your carry-on luggage. For example, “After going through security, people, including children, should not touch someone who is still being screened.”

2. Advise parents and other caregivers on how to prepare children ahead of time.  Adults need to know what to say to their children so that they will understand what is going on. Parents and caregivers also need to know what to do if a child needs to have a pat down. A simple, fun video could be created for parents to show children what being wanded looks like and what a pat down looks like so that they won’t need to worry.  People flying with children under 12 could also be sent the Kidpower recommendations above.

3. Let kids see, touch, and talk to their adults. An airport is an overwhelming place and being separated from their parents or other family members even for a few seconds can be terrifying for children – and deeply upsetting for parents who want to protect their kids. Allow children who go through the security gate on their own to see and walk to one of their adults. If a child needs an extra screening, let the child hold hands with and talk with one of their parents or caregivers.

4. Make being screened with a wand or patted down an interesting experience instead of an upsetting one. Create a special sticker to give kids  who need extra screening. Tell children who need to be screened with a wand or patted down what is going on and allow them to have verbal and physical contract with their parent or other family member in a way that does not interfere with the screening process. Prepare agents to enlist parental cooperation and keep a friendly attitude even if people get upset,  remembering that everyone might be feeling overwhelmed by their trip. For example, “I know you are safe and a good person, but we have to have the same rules for everybody. You are doing everything right, and your grownups are proud of you! I understand you don’t like it and that’s okay. Sometimes for safety, we have to do things we don’t like. Your mom is right here and you’ll get a  special sticker when you are done.”

5. Train officials on how to stay calm and reassuring rather than becoming impatient or acting alarmed if a child breaks a rule and gets upset.  Use common sense! A four-year-old hugging a grandmother might require extra screening of both for public safety but is just not the same as someone trying to pass a dangerous object to someone else. Responding to a stressed-out parent or a crying child with compassion can work wonders. For example, “I am sorry we have to do this. I understand you are upset and wish we had a way to do this differently. Let’s find a way to make this fun. Would you like to see how my blue glove can get a face like a silly puppet?”

Airport screening of kids is an issue where a little change can go a long ways. A little imagination, a little compassion, a little preparation, a little training, and a little common sense can go a long ways towards preparing TSA officials, parents, and children so that everyone has a positive screening experience at the airport.

Irene van der Zande is the Founder and Executive Director of Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International. Her new book, The Kidpower Book for Caring Adults: Personal Safety, Self-Protection, Confidence, and Advocacy for Young People, with a foreword by Gavin de Becker, is the most comprehensive resource available for parents, teachers, and other adults who care about protecting children and teens from bullying, child abuse, abduction, and other violence and want to learn how to empower young people with skills for taking charge of their emotional and physical safety. Irene is available for interviews or to provide guest blog posts. Kidpower services include educational resources, workshops, and consultation on how to create cultures of caring, respect, and safety for everyone, everywhere. Contact: safety@kidpower.org.

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